SweetMissBlue

So I realised I should write about those 'Unnecessary reality shows'. You know those kind that no-one bothers watching anyway, nor have any meaning? Those completely pointless ones, that they've spent loads of money on for nothing? Money you could use for other stuff and issues such as the global warming and people in need!?

I want your opinions about them!
It would help me a lot! 
Thanks in advance!

I'm in a great need of a topic for a speech...  (I feel so unmotivated right now) Anyone have any great ideas? Or something that might help? Please mail or comment!

Lotsalove!
xxx

I forgot! Yesterday was a quite a special day for me.
Because a year ago, since yesterday, I swore an oath and made a bet with my friends that I was going to be single for a whole year! This was the same day as I broke up with my ex Daniel (who'd cheated on me two times), and I realised I was tired of it all... It felt like I was jumping from one relationship to the other.
Well, sort of.
Don't start thinking I'm together with someone new every other week. It's just every year or something. My longest one was almost 11 months. The shortest one was 7 weeks. I wasn't really in love with all of them. I was just young and foolish, and I wanted to give them all a chance each, I guess. The first two relationships I had was with two dudes I've known for a long time - another two of my best friends. The two latest ones were... Well, through parties and dates. 
And I've actually only had 4 relationships (See, I'm not a player! And I'm harder to get than it seems - most people would say.)

Now, me and my friends I made the bet with are having flashbacks of it. Gosh, haha. 
I am also 2500 SEK richer! (about 218 GBP) But it was not about the money. It was about finding myself through life without a relationship. Now I do miss having someone though. Someone real. And this time, I really want something serious. I'm older now than then. Being single's quite lonely, though I'm used to it now. And it is fun in its' way. But I wanna feel those kind of feelings again. Those you get when you're in love.

Now I'm currently hanging out with two of my closest friends: Filip and Nic. We're all missing our best friend Jimmy :(

I am currently watching my bestest friend pack his bag, to be gone for about 17 days and 17 nights. Leaving me alone. And yes, he's not even going to be by my side at my birthday. 
And it's the goddamned movie "The Aviator"s fault! If we hadn't gone and watched it when it went on TV, he would never get the idea that he wanted to be a freaking military aviator in the future! Apparently, he wants himself to get killed.
It all means he's going to move to the US, and we won't be able to see each other as often as we want! I'm with him, like... Everyday. (We almost kind of live together). I've known him since I was 9 years old, we've been with each other everyday pretty much since then. He's been the bestest friend you can imagine.
He understands me, the way I am and my humour - which not many people can. He gives and gives and gives me and seriously never takes nor wants anything back! He spoils me too much. He's always there in the way he can. He sings me to sleep. He gave me my dog as a present! He treats me like a princess, although I don't deserve it. He's the guy of many girls dreams. And he's definitely got the looks. Oh, I can only tell you. Imagine yourself a less buff Taylor Lautner with a greenish brown eyes and brown hair.

He has... Never had a girlfriend, as I'm actually the only one he's ever let in. That's probably the only negative thing with him. He has no other girl friend, except his classmates. It's like he's got this indestructible wall surrounding him. I've been trying to get him into dating, but it's just... Impossible! And he's definitely not gay! I don't know what's wrong with him.

He's like the guy of my dreams, and I do love him. He's actually the first human ever I've said those famous three words too - and it was not even long ago. (The first time ever was to a dog by the end of last year) Because he simply deserves it, and it felt right saying it. He's never said those words at all. Not even to me. But yet, I can't be together with him. It kind of... Just doesn't feel right. Especially now he's going to be far far away from me for his goddamned dream. I don't think I can handle that distance. I'm afraid of breaking both our hearts. Afraid that the

friendship we have won't ever be the same again. I know it's like we're together already anyway, but no.
Although... At the beginning of this year, he did tell me he was in love with me. After all these years of waiting, he tells me 'now'?! It was just a little too late. And he said it after his very own brother told me he had the same feelings about me. And that's what I told him. That it was too late, and I couldn't think myself having that kind of a relationship with him after all the years and also what his brother had told me.
You can imagine what kind of drama we had. The problem was, I really liked his brother at that time - although nothing ever happened.

So my best friend stopped talking to me and his brother, and that was probably the first time we had a fight. Ever. It kept going on for 5 months until I couldn't handle it anymore. We forgave each other and agreed to stay friends although we knew there's going to be some heartaches along the decision. Now we're all back on track, as if nothing's happened. 

He's too good to be true, and yet he is real. 
And I really need to find him a girl. Maybe a girl like me. He can't stay single all his life!

As to the job as an Aviator, I dunno if I wish him good luck or not. I don't want him to become one. What if something happens to him?! I could never live the same again! I might die of heartache!

But it's his dream, and I shouldn't keep him from it. Oh, F it!

He was the one who took the pic. I dunno what the meaning of this pic was. Think he just felt random. Or wanted to take a pic of the milk and my hand. (I cut myself out, 'cause I had an open mouth x) and didn't notice him)

Goodnight, and I hope you all sleep better than I will.
Tomorrow, he's gone. And I'll be left on the bed alone. For 17 long lonely nights.

I dunno if I should laugh or feel sorry about him... I think it's supposed to be funny though. I did laugh anyway though it feels wrong. Embedding was disabled, so here's a link!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoBO2MyXst4&feature=related

What do you think about him?

I like getting to know people, even though I'm probably never going to meet them anyway.
But I'm just curious... You all have your own opinions, and I wish for you to share them with me about this. Love stories are just... Things I love hearing and talking about!
Though this may not fit into everyone, you may also answer it n the way you think you can.

How do you know you've found your soulmate?

Do you know just by looking at them? Or is it a feeling you get? Do you even believe in the term? Do you think there is a so-called soulmate for everyone?

No, I'm not doing an essay here, though I think it might be of use for my Theory Of Knowledge essay or Psychology later on.

It might be too early for me to say, but I've got the vibes for someone. He doesn't know it, and may not feel it. But he's got that something I'm looking for. I've never felt those kind of vibes before! It's weird!
I got the vibes ever since I first talked to him. I have not met him yet, but I have the feeling that when I do, something's going to happen. There's just something about him. Might not end up as a relationship, but it might be a good friendship.

Second question is: Have you ever got the 'vibes' that something between you and someone might happen, although you've never met before?

Would be thankful for any form of answer, whether if it's through comments or mail!
Lots of Love! xxx

Oh, gosh... I just found some old pics of me from when I was like 13-14 years old! I looked so... Weird. Like a mix of emo and a b*tch... I don't think I was though. I've never really been. But I guess I just look like it! What's up with the hair? It was darker and like... All over my face! Gee. Aaaaahhhh. I might regret publishing this. I like the first one - hate the last one!

Those were the days... I guess I got affected by something... It was the time when I got my first ever crush! Maybe that's why I looked so emo. Though he wasn't emo himself...
Blap.

Oh, shoot! Hahaha... I think that was the longest entry ever published on this planet! Don't expect you to read it at all! Haha. I just felt like sharing something, but didn't expect it to end up that long! Well, now maybe it hints how much I can talk!
xxx

There are different kinds of blogs. Some blogs works like journals or diaries for people, some are about music, some about interests, some about new etcetera etcetera.. I just noticed I rarely write anything about me or my days. I don't want to have a certain category. Well, maybe except the category of 'Everything, but still interesting'. So at least my blogs can have different sides of it. I know it's not exactly good or popular to write about ones' love-life, but sometimes, it just feels good to write about it and 'hear' peoples' opinions and advises. Especially when you've got nothing else to do, and just want to write something. Anyway, here it goes...

Today, on the train on my way to school...
I slid down on a random seat as quickly as I could as I came into the train... Not really noticing nor caring about who was sitting on the seat in front as I was staring down on my injured leg that had a hard time taking the stairs and I was massaging it... But then, when I finally looked up... My "kinda crush" sat right in front of me on the seat facing mine. He looked up and give me a quick stare -which is natural- so as to avoid any further awkwardness. The thing is... He knew I have thisthing about him, which was the reason for all the awkwardness. Otherwise we would just have talked or at least said hi as my school is known for it's very socialised students, but the two of us are just ignoring each other. Or at least both trying to. I think.

The reason might be because of my spontaneousness. Or rather more suiting; carelessness. The third week of school, he found out that I "liked" him, although I've never spoken to him before, except perhaps a short presentation of ourselves to each other as we were working in the same room with our two different groups in a group project. 
I just thought he was good-looking

. He had nice shiny, wavy hair, big green dreamy "fish eyes", well built body... And yeah, that stuff. I might post a pic someday. Two weeks later, he and I sat with our two parallel classes in one of the assembly halls. He sat right behind me, and so I wrote it as a status on my Facebook. Not with his name of course, but just as "He". And apparently, one of his friends who I forgot I had on my contact list, nor whom I thought would care, saw it and told him. 
So me and my "crush" (who added me after finding out) had some sort of discussion on there trying to figure and solve things out. 
I told him I didn't like him, but I was just drawn to him - which I really were. I felt like Edward Cullen being drawn to Bella, everytime I saw him. I couldn't take my eyes off him!
He said himself I couldn't like him because I barely knew him - which was true. And after a while, he sounded chill about it. Which made me relieved. I can tell you, I couldn't eat for 2 days after talking to him, because I felt so euphoric and fenylethylamine rushed (or however you spell it)! 
That was before his older sister sent me a mail that made me really feel provoked and hurt. She told me the truth about how he really felt, that I was freaking him out and that I was a stalker. Stalker because I knew stuff about him, people from his class or people who knew him told me - because they knew I had a thing for him. I didn't even try to get anything out from them, although I was curious about him! 
Isn't it natural to be curious about someone you like? I mean... Calling ME a stalker... Stalker is a strong word! It's not like I have pictures of him in my room or like... I've followed him home... That's stalking. Something I've never done, nor will do.
So I explained that to him, and after some babbling here and there, we both agreed to start all over again. From ground zero.
I felt really... Bad after that. Kinda depressed. A girl from his class told me he had said that he was going up to me in person and say that he wasn't angry with me. Something he never did, although I waited and waited. 
Oh, and guess what. The WHOLE school knew about us and what happened after that! I only told like... 5 people I knew. And he... I dunno. And some girls who told me before that they were going to help me with him; they're now after him, themselves. How fake. This was now months ago.

But since then... We've both been ignoring each other. Or at least trying to... I think.
I kind of got over him for 2 weeks. But now it's back again. That physical and psychical attraction I get from him.
I don't exactly know when it started to happen, but I guess sometime before or after the Halloween break... Anyway, nowadays He turns up everywhere, and is always near to where I am. He goes past the room where I am like a dozen times for no reason even if the room's in the dead end of the corridor. Before, he'd go as soon as I came into his view. Now, he's started to give me 'looks' as well, which he never did before. He never even gave me as much as a look when we had those chats going on. StillI couldn't get him off my mind, nor stop staring at him whenever he went past.

So today, when we were sitting right in front of each other, our knees almost touching... The tension was unbearable. We were sitting in front of each other. Both looking down, trying hard not to look up, afraid that the other might be looking back. We sat in silence. I was fidgeting with my clothes, my earphones and my cap, while he was pushing the up and down buttons on his phone.
I got up earlier than the train stopped, so as to avoid bumping into him. And when we both got out, he headed the other way (so as to take another way than I did to avoid me), while I went to the other and our eyes met.
When we were in front of the building, people were staring as we walked side by side at one point, because he walked to slow and I tried to walk as fast as I could as my leg could bare me - so it looked like we were walking with each other. And his friend met up with him and whispered something, which apparently made him twist his arm around. And some other guy told them they're not allowed to do that, while my "guy of interest" answered that the other guy was teasing him. Which definitely made me suspicious that it was something about me, because the guy that got his arm twisted, stared me down everytime I walked past him.
And yes, me and my guy of interest had another eye-contact during lunch when he seated himself to the table next to me and my friends with his face to mine.
I don't get him anymore! Or is it just me imagining things?
Now I can't get him off my head anymore! There's a part of me wanting to be as interesting as Edward Cullen was for Isabella Swann so I could just get him. 
It's just soooo silly! 
Or maybe it's those hormones?

Me: If a plane crashes on the border of Mexico and California, where do they bury the survivors?

Anthony (IB3): In their homeland.

What is the right answer?

Haha, I felt smarter than a senior! It was enjoyable!

I'll give you the right answer, in the next post!

This cracked me up! Ahahaha! I wonder if they still have their jobs! Wish you really could have that much fun at work! Creative!

1 Cake = about 10 portions
* 40 minutes in the Oven 
* Time to cool after
* 3 hours in the freezer

Bottom
200 g Digestive biscuits
1 1/2 tbsp of Sugar
125 g Butter, preferably unsalted

Filling
1 leaf Gelatine
90 g Raspberry puré or
2 1/2 thawed Raspberries

Cream
125 g 70% Dark Chocolate
2 dl Whipped Cream
250 g room temperature Curd Cheese
3/4 dl Sugar
2 tsp Lemon juice

1. Immerse the gelatine in cold water for 5 minutes.
2. Mix(crush) the biscuits and mix with the sugar.
3. Melt the butter and blend it with the biscuit crumbs. Divide the mixture into a mold with a removable edge and flatten it out on the bottom with the back of a spoon.
4. Thaw the raspberries and press them to purée through a sieve with the help of a spoon or use pre purée. Heat up the purée gently, then stir the gelatine in it. Pour the raspberry purée over, and let it cool. Preferably in the fridge.
5. Melt the chocolate to the cream and whip the cream dissolved.
6. Mix the whipped cream, the curd cheese, sugar and lemon juice.
7. Stir firstly some of the cream mixture in the chocolate. Then turn over the chocolate mixture into the cream. Stir so the batter doesn't become grainy.
8. Spread the batter on top of the raspberry cream and smear it smooth and evenly. Put it in the freezer for at least 3 hours.
9. Take the Cheesecake out for about 10 minutes before serving, so as to enable it to soften slightly. Garnish with melted chocolate and top it with fresh raspberries.
Enjoy!

Yes, I apologise again for not updating. Had so much to do this weekend, and I also didn't feel the urge to upload as I didn't have anything to post exactly...
The weekend's been trying to get me invalid somehow. At Saturday, I almost swallowed a bit of bell pepper - which I'm allergic to. I got some sore eyes and a rather itchy nose before as "the scent was in the air". And when I bit it... Euw, I knew something was wrong because I hated the taste. So I spit it out, and a while after, the side of my tongue got all swollen. Thank goodness I didn't like the taste! Could have gone worse if I swallowed it!

Yesterday I sprained a leg during football training. I really rocked out there, until something happened - which I don't remember -  and Voíla! . Now I'm at home trying to rest. Couldn't go to school as I have a hard time trying to walk and talk.

Now to make things up, I'm going to upload the recipe for the Cheesecake I made not so long ago, that some of you has been asking for in the following entry!

Sorry I haven't blogged much today! Currently busy with my life. 
Been having long days. You see, I got a huge part in my drama club's play; our version of "Les Misérables" where I play Cosette Tolomyès. 
There is some kind of irony in me being an actress. Actresses should be good at remembering, so as to remember what's on their scripts and what to do... Something I'm not really good at. I'm very forgetful. I'll try to manage though.
Now I get to learn my character, I'm not really sure if I'm actually made to be her. It feels like I should be Èponine instead, as I'm more like her. Though I'm not really sure. I like playing the beautiful girl, although I may not deserve it. lol

I still haven't met who's going to play Marius Pontmercy. Something I'm very curious about. It says in my script that I'm going to kiss him, so I want to know who the heck it is. I hope he's good-looking, to be honest. And that he's nice. I don't like kissing someone I'm not really into. It won't end up good either. After all, Marius is described to be handsome. Lol.

So if you have seen Les Misérables, who's part would you want to play if you could choose or even if so it was only in your imagination?

Here's Hans Matheson, who played Marius in the movie. Good-looking, he was!

I'm actually really tired of this song, not that I've ever listened to it properly. Not really into that kind of music... But the music's not the issue...
I just... HAHAHAHA!!!

There's sooo much you can find on Youtube!